


A Cure for What Ails You

by Rowaine



Series: Playtime [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Accidental Masturbation, Other, Wrong bag - thanks Mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3617064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowaine/pseuds/Rowaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's got a kink or two -- Xander's was started by a misplaced shopping bag and ambiguous instructions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cure for What Ails You

I'm sorta nervous about posting this, but not enough to keep me from doing it *lol*  
  
**A pre-story warning** (intended for those of our viewing audience who jump from title to fic without reading the info in between) -- the following story involves a character under the legal age of consent in a sexual situation. Granted, he's only playing with himself, so no one's corrupting him *yet*, but thought you all should know.

 

  
**Series:** Playtime  
  
**Title:** A Cure for What Ails You  
  
**Author:** Rowaine (rowained@yahoo.com)  
  
**Fandom:** BtVS  
  
**Rating:** FRAOish. I think. Probably. Yeah, no way around it... even if Xanbaby doesn't know better.  
  
**Summary:** Everyone's got a kink or two -- Xander's was started by a misplaced shopping bag and ambiguous instructions.  
  
**Warnings:** Toy!kink, underage masturbation. Please note that Xander is not quite 13 yrs old in this prelude to the actual !verse. If this bothers you, skip to the next part.  
  
**Pairings:** None. (Eventually Spander)  
  
**Setting:** Definitely AU... This first fic is pre-series.  
  
**Disclaimer:** The characters and universe are Joss', but I seriously doubt he'd claim credit for what I'm about to do to his boys.  
  
**Author's Note:** The past couple of months have been hell around here. Besides real life issues, I haven't been able to write a damned thing in far too long. So, while I should be writing on my WIPs, this !verse idea popped into my head and refused to be ejected. Gonna purge as much of it as possible to make room.  
  
**Author's Note v2:** This is the first (and possibly last) time I have ever used underage sexual activity (chan) in a story. It should be noted that I wouldn't be doing so now except as a prelude to the actual storyline. While we, as mature adults, understand the difference between fantasy and reality, the following chapter in no way condones sexual congress with a minor, with or without consent.   
  
And for those of you who may not be familiar with legalese: There's a reason why we have laws against having sex with kids. It can be quite damaging to their psyche, their body, and their emotional maturity. But since no one is having sex with Xan (other than his own hand and a toy), I don't feel nearly as bad as I probably should. Just ask yourself when the first time you used any external means to get off was -- if memory serves, I was about twelve or so *lol* and the horny never went away!  
  
Last but not least, I don't remember if Xander's birthday was ever revealed in the series, but to me, he seems to be a solid Cancer. It's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

**A Cure for What Ails You**

 

 **Summer, 1993**  
  
His stomach ached and his rear was so sore he couldn't keep up with Jesse and Willow as they rode their bicycles down to the park. He knew it was his own fault -- how many times had his mother warned him about eating too much cheese? At the ripe old age of twelve (almost thirteen, just a few more weeks), he felt way too embarrassed to ask for help.   
  
Bike parked at the back door, he quietly crept inside the house, hoping not to disturb his parents' Saturday afternoon binge. His legs stretched to avoid the third and sixth stairs leading up to his room, the added twinge of discomfort almost making him groan out loud. Inch by inch he closed his bedroom door, listening carefully for signs that his parents had heard him return.  
  
All he wanted to do was flop across his bed and whimper. Maybe read a comic book or two. Take a nap even. Anything to take his mind off the painful cramping and aching pressure in his gut. He toed off his shoes and socks, and gingerly sat down on his bed... only noticing the small paper bag and folded note when his head hit the pillow.  
  
_Xander,  
  
You are old enough by now to know better, not that it's ever  
kept you from over-indulging. Yes, I know who ate the two  
blocks of colby cheese. No, I haven't told your father.   
  
Since you are now old enough to take medicine by yourself,  
you should also be able to use this remedy. Just follow the  
instructions on the package and you should feel better in a  
day or two. You might need to stay home tomorrow, but you'll  
feel much better by Monday.  
  
Mom_  
  
Xander gave a long sigh of relief. His mom might not win any awards for her parenting skills, but she still made the effort. A closer look at the bag offered no clues, and he wondered where she'd gone shopping. Almost every store printed their logo on bags and boxes, right? He grunted away the random curiosity, and upended the bag. Expecting to find a bottle of Pepto Bismal or even _shudder_ laxatives, his interest perked up at the oddly shaped package.  
  
Shrink-wrapped to a piece of cardboard was a five inch length of plastic. Purple plastic. Flexible purple plastic. With an odd flat section at one end that had a hole at either side. He flipped over the strange package to find a step-by-step set of instructions, with pictures and helpful suggestions. _She wants me to do **that?!** But how's it supposed to help with constipation?_ A child's blind trust in his mother kept Xander from racing downstairs to ask questions (plus the fact that he'd had to step over a pile of beer bottles on his way up -- only badness ever came from disturbing his dad's weekend buzz).   
  
_Alright, let's look at this the logical way. Hey, wouldn't Wills be proud of me? There's a tube of stuff to go along with... whatever this is. Something called KY Jelly. "A personal lubricant." Huh._ He put down the tube of slick after testing a small dab between his fingers. _Slippery. Guess she's serious about this._ Prizing the staples apart, he lifted the clear plastic away from the purple thing and picked it up between thumb and forefinger. _The package says to use lots of lubricant to ease the way... Maybe this works like a grown-up version of those icky sup- pill things she used last time._  
  
Shuffling back to his door, Xander made sure it was locked and pulled down his window shade, then blushed as he stripped out of both shorts and underwear. _No one, and I do mean **no one** will ever find out about this!_   
  
The Annoying Thing between his legs gave a twitch of interest as he climbed back on his bed. He knew that it was just another part of growing up -- thanks to the hell that was seventh grade Health class -- but so far he hadn't spent too much time thinking about _It_. _It_ was for older kids, with cars and girlfriends and cool leather jackets. _It_ was supposed to be so much fun, but now so dangerous with all the STDs being spread around. _And hey, I remembered more than one thing from school this year._  
  
Xander voted to ignore the tender swelling of his dick (even as his face flamed from thinking the forbidden word). He plumped up his two pillows against the headboard and leaned against them. _Right, so the jelly... does it go on the purple thing, or... **down there**? Oh. OH! On my fingers? I'm supposed to stick my **fingers** up **there?!** Okay, this had better work, Mom._  
  
As he re-opened the tube, one line drew his attention: "Too much is almost enough." It made sense, considering that he was going to be pushing something _in_ an _exit only_ place. Slippery was good. Like the orange-brown grease that got everywhere but worked so well on rusty bicycle chains. _And as long as I think about it like that, maybe I can actually do this. Just greasing the kinks out, right? Oh man, **no one** will ever find out about this!_  
  
A brief flash of worry flooded through him. How _clean_ was he supposed to be _down there_? But since the whole problem was that nothing was coming _out_ , he finally gave in with a sigh and coated two fingers. His eyes squeezed shut, Xander spread his legs and prayed not to miss. _It's my body. I should be able to do this. Mom has enough faith in me to do this without her help, right? Right! So suck it up, Xander, and let's do this._  
  
He didn't know how bad his hands were shaking until his fingers brushed up against his nuts. A shiver of sinful pleasure/shock ran down his spine at the light contact. Wispy dark hair had only recently started growing over his high scrotum, and the unfamiliar feeling of fuzz dragging across his hand caused another thrill. He bit his lip, concentrating on his task, trying so very hard to ignore the pleasant little tingles. More pressure from his fingers meant less tickling, he hoped, so he pushed against the skin behind his balls. And nearly flew off the bed.  
  
_Holy crap, what was that? There is no way this is supposed to feel so good! It's like medicine, right? And yeah, so sometimes Mom will drink a whole bottle of cough syrup for the alcohol, but medicine isn't supposed to feel good. It's... it's... in the rule book somewhere!_  
  
As he argued with himself, Xander's fingers continued their careful prodding of the tender skin, so slick now that one slipped between his buttocks, directly across his anus. _Nonononono must be doing something wrong so wrong sick in not out but feels so good..._ Strokes both light and firm, testing the difference, he was barely aware of how hard his untried erection had become.   
  
And since stroking felt so nice, it only made sense to go farther. _Too much is almost enough. Gotcha. Here goes..._ Another healthy dollop of lube, knees bent as far apart as he could stand, Xander felt around with one finger until he located the crinkled opening and **pushed**... and promptly banged his head against the headboard. _How- wha- jeez, they never told us about **this** in Health class! Wonder if Jesse knows... no, not going there, no way am I gonna explain this, not even to my best bud!_  
  
His eyes flew open as he wiggled his fingertip just inside. The tight-so-tight grip of his butthole nearly made his eyes cross -- strange, slightly scary visions of what else might feel so good scittered through his mind at warp speed, so quickly he could barely catch them. For all his twelve (almost thirteen) years, and the quality information provided by the California Department of Public Education, Xander had never considered the feelings provoked by putting anything _inside_ his body. Other than chocolate and twinkies and soda.   
  
With much more confidence, he pushed a bit harder until his entire finger was inside, being squeezed and warmed and _hugged_ by a part of his body he'd always tried to ignore. It was much harder to wiggle with his hand at such an awkward angle, and his lips jutted into a pout as he pulled halfway out. And moaned, loudly. _Adults are supposed to tell us about things like this! How to and why, and how not to get hurt. But maybe it's because it feels so good... They wanna be stingy and not spill, keep the goods to themselves. Ha! This'll show you old farts, the Xanman can handle anythi---_  
  
His inner babble trailed off into outer huffs and soft moans. In and out, his finger had kept moving throughout his private rant, a tempo that forced the most interesting tingles up around his nuts. Clear, stringy drops of liquid formed at the top of his dick, even though he didn't feel the need to pee. _If one finger feels this good, two can only get better. With lots of jelly._  
  
A brief pause while he added more lubricant, then his fingers were back in place. It burned just a little, pushing both past his crinkled hole, and the fullness made his eyes cross. His hips lifted without permission, shifting the angle just enough for the very end of his middle finger to brush against a spongy patch... and a nova went off behind his eyes.  
  
_Oh fuuuu--_ He couldn't manage to say it, even in his mind, even with his body shaking from the force of such intense pleasure. He shoved his fingers in and out, stabbing and poking, but only managed to touch that spot one more time. Frustrated with his short digits, Xander rolled over and groaned into his pillow, his hip landing on something cool. _Doh, way to go, dummy. Let's forget what started this._  
  
The flexy purple plastic thing didn't look near as scary anymore. Actually, it seemed like the best present ever. Longer than his fingers, with a nifty handle, surely it could reach that spot, right?  
  
He stayed on his side as he slicked up the plug, lifting his top leg to reach between... but the angle wasn't good. _Darn it, there's gotta be an easier way. Huh. Can't reach it good from the front... try from the back?_ After a second coat of slick applied with shaking hands, and an arched back, the plug slipped inside with ease. His body seemed to want the invasion, sucking it in, right against _that spot_.   
  
In just a few minutes, Xander had found a rhythm that felt beyond wonderful, into the realms of mind-blowing ecstasy. He barely noticed when his other hand joined the fun, grabbing his leaky dick in the same tempo. Short flashes of memory from Health class clued him in on the incredible pleasure he was feeling -- climax, orgasm, coming, the release of semen through physical manipulation. _Whatever it is, I hope it never ends..._  
  
The plug pushed in and out, his hand flew across his erection, and he felt _something_ build deep inside. Burying his face in his pillow, Xander celebrated his first orgasm with a muffled scream. He flopped onto his back and panted for awhile, shifting his hips as tiny tremors prolonged the feeling of the plug brushing against his inner walls.  
  
_Not sure how this is supposed to help me go to the bathroom, but wow! Sign me up for another round._

~ * ~

  
The next morning, Jessica Harris remembered to look through her Friday night purchases. Toiletries were dumped on the bathroom counter. Trash bags fell in the vicinity of the kitchen. Suppositories? Those were meant for Xander, but since he hadn't said anything, perhaps he no longer needed them. Now where was her treat, hmm? Surely she hadn't dreamed that visit to the adult novelty store...


End file.
